Saturday, March 11, 2017

Four Months

Hello from the other side of baby fog! This one was especially sweet. Pregnancy was so psychologically miserable, and I think the physical recovery took longer, too. The fact that he was out here and not in there any more was so great. He makes me ridiculously happy, and he hardly ever cries. The smile on his 7-year-old brother's face when he looks at him, the 2-year-old's voracious appetite for holding him, the 6-year-old's sense of duty in keeping him from crying, and the 4-year-old's willingness to attempt to change his diaper... it's just awesome. My husband even put the Moby wrap on, for the first time!, to hold him today.

I know I've posted about postpartum diabetes management before, and I'm trying to figure out why I get so bad at controlling my blood sugars after baby is born. I think what happens is that during pregnancy you are excessively diligent about your blood sugars because it's not you that depends on them being good, it's a teeny tiny little person that you just can't help but love. So you whip yourself into shape and do everything you can to bathe your child in a perfectly temperate glucose environment. After the baby's born, you start taking care of baby in other ways, and your blood sugars just aren't a part of this baby's life anymore. (Except when your blood sugar is too low for you to coherently care for the baby. Self-care can save lives!) At this point, the only person it matters to is you, and you know that 170 mg/dL for a few hours isn't going to kill you. Plus, your brain can only handle so many details. Carb counting gives way to diaper changes, bolus ratios and insulin sensitivities give way to burping techniques, checking the sensor gives way to being very, very, very quiet and still so you can finally get the baby to sleep and take a nap.

I may not post again until I'm pregnant again, and that may be a while. I've learned not to make promises. This last one was hard, but brought us so much joy. Our family is really in a very good place, except maybe a little poor. We're not very good at NFP, and we all know what that means. So we'll see.

Enjoy perusing the archives and feel free to contact me if you have any questions or birth stories you'd like to share!


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