Sunday, May 15, 2016

Back in the Race

Childbearing is not a race in many ways. There is no prize for getting to the end of pregnancy first. To the contrary, rushing to the end of pregnancy would be disastrous for your baby. There is no prize for shortest labor. In fact, short labors can be really scary. All conventional wisdom tells us that there is no prize for getting your child to the age of walking, talking, reasoning, or full maturity first. I hear the empty nest can be a very lonely thing. So "rushing it" can be problematic.

On the other hand, when you're in it, it sure feels a lot like an endurance event of some kind. The nausea and fatigue of early pregnancy, the growth pains of the second trimester, the heavy weight-bearing exercise of every moment of the third trimester, the final mile of childbirth, the recovery of the postpartum months. I think a race is a rather apt description for the experience of pregnancy, childbirth, and recovery, even if we don't measure the success of our childbearing adventures in "shortest time to finish line."

So while I am certainly not competing with anyone (and would not advise anyone to view it this way), and I'm not aiming to complete this process in the shortest amount of time, I do feel like I'm beginning another long-distance race. Let's think of it as a continual search for a "PR," or personal record. How to measure the outcome - a loving child who does what is right, rather than a child who does everything at the speed of a rabbit - is something I'll have to leave to the passage of time and the judgment of God.

That's right, I'm expecting again! This is my fifth pregnancy, and it seems like some unusual and undeserved gift that all my previous pregnancies ended with a live, healthy baby. The longer you hang out around parents, the more stories you hear of infertility, miscarriage and stillbirth. It keeps me humble. But it has, at times, felt like an undeserved burden, too. Couldn't I take just one risk or make one mistake with natural family planning and not have nine months to show for it? In the end, my fickle affections about the pain and difficulty of the endeavor do occasionally get in the way of recognizing the value of a new little human being.

I'm hopeful that the CGM will help me avoid a few more lows this time around. It's true that I get lows when I'm not pregnant, too, and I've mentioned this as an inadequate reason for a doctor to pressure a diabetic woman to avoid having a baby. But it's also true that when I'm trying a lot harder to keep it down because of another person whose health depends on my ability to do so, I make more mistakes. There's some balance between a good A1C and a healthy infrequency of low blood sugars, and I'm never quite sure that I'm doing that properly. So please pray for me and my family as I embark on this adventure!




2 comments:

  1. Congratulations!! I haven't spilled the beans on my blog but I am pregnant with my first :) sadly my first pregnancy did end in eqrly miscarriage a few month back but some thigs are out of our control.. I am grateful for what I have - I also have a PhD (I saw your husband does) and My husband will be getting his in 2 short months so we are job searching and preparing for a move soon - a lot going on.. Happy and healthy 9 months to you and I look forward to following along!

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    1. Thanks for stopping in! I hope your pregnancy and your move goes smoothly!

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