Friday, July 26, 2013

A Long Time

It has been a long time since I have posted on our blog. I know some of your come back and read encouraging posts from time to time on your own, and I am so glad that you have found something here that is worth reading more than once.

Here I explain the reason for the long silence. I often don't have a lot to write about other than what is personal to me. Since I am not pregnant, the question of "what is personal to me," on this particular blog about pregnancy and childbirth, devolves to the question of whether or not I *will* be pregnant in the near future. But I've always hesitated to share information on our blog about whether we are trying or not trying to conceive, and this is for a few reasons.

The first: we live with my parents. As you can imagine, inviting one's parents into a conversation about whether or not one will conceive another child is kind of awkward. It's not that I think they would disapprove, or even that I would mind telling them if we lived in another place. It's just that us having another baby will so radically affect their lives, too. That revelation to them, at this particular time, will necessarily require them to think about how they will be affected, and whether they will continue to let us live with them. We have always considered their generosity towards us extravagant, and we would happily thank them and move out on our own way if they asked us to. It's just that I'd rather tell them, "I'm going to have another baby! How would you like to handle this situation?" than ask them to predict how they would feel about it while it is still a point open to negotiation and debate. I think they, and I, would both feel awkward if they became too involved in the questions of whether or not to conceive. A parental mandate on the sexual behavior of one's married daughter just seems...wrong.

The second: If I told you right now that we were trying to conceive, we might very well be making a pregnancy announcement two weeks from now. Assuming some other necessary preliminaries, that is... It seems a little like we might as well celebrate the real deal when it happens, rather than leaving everyone in the lurch.

The third: I know there are some people in the world that probably would find it offensive that I am supported by federal healthcare subsidies and, in these difficult economic times, prepared to pose an additional burden to the government's budget. Not to mention, doctors are reimbursed PENNIES on the dollar for their Medicaid expenditures. Believe me, my husband have had this conversation many times. Should we just pay for it ourselves? What if I have to have a c-section and it costs three times as much as we thought it would?

So, this is part of the reason I have been silent. I have so little personal information to share. I am not pregnant, my littlest Statesman turned one year old on June 14 (happy birthday, dude), and I am tired and my back hurts most of the time. I did recently ovulate, though, and WOW! was that SUPER OBVIOUS and REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. I really felt like I was pregnant for about 3 days - nausea, cramps, fatigue, and all the rest! This is the longest I've gone postpartum without a period (13 1/2 months), but I think it will be soon.

Hope all the rest of you are doing well. Peace!