Friday, February 10, 2012

Week 22: You Mean I Have to Wait HOW Long?

This week was characterized by an unfamiliar and very early longing to meet my son. Soon. And I'm only 22 weeks pregnant!

I don't know why I didn't feel this way with the other two. Well, I do sort of know why. With my first pregnancy, I was so focused on getting through pregnancy that I failed to think about what it would be like to actually have a baby, except that I knew I thought it was a good idea. Net result? I was confused right up until the time I delivered my son, and pretty terrified for a few weeks afterwards.

With my second son, I was again apprehensive. We found out we were having another baby in February, a short 8 months after our first was born. We knew we were going to have to leave St. Louis in May, but we didn't know where we were going. Finally, I was leaving a well-paying job in April so that we could go to a school where my husband's income was not guaranteed (and certainly not as high as the income we were leaving). We found out not long after that we would be moving to an expensive area, living with my parents, and that our income would be modest, to say the least. I had some misgivings about it, but went along for the ride. I was, by the end of the pregnancy, at least not afraid to have another baby - but I wouldn't say I was actually excited to meet him until an ultrasound conducted the morning of my induction. His eyes were open! Something clicked at that moment, and it really made the delivery much easier.

For whatever reason (I like to think that I have grown in motherly virtues, but that is subject to debate), I just cannot wait to meet this little man. Maybe it's because we've already given him a name, or maybe it's because now I know a little more about what happens to little boys when the grow up a bit (my kids are really cute). Or maybe it's because I remember what it's like to be 40 weeks pregnant and I really don't want to go there again. I'm just so excited to have him on the outside, here with us, where we can watch him grow and smile and laugh and learn and do all the other adorable things that little children do.

Come soon...but not too soon!...I know what I mean.

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