As Beth just mentioned in her last posting, it's been difficult to write this pregnancy, much more difficult than I'd expected, in fact. When I created the blog nearly two and a half years ago, I was coming off of the highs and passion of having just won what was one of the biggest battles of my life it felt, having a baby outside of the standard operating system that was around me at the time.
That experience left me with a lot to say. As my children grew and demanded more of my time in addition to my husband's rather demanding job of being a minister on our family and my returning to work part time; finding the time to write has not been a priority as I'd hoped it would be. Of course as any pregnant woman out there knows, there certainly is plenty to write about during this time, especially when one adds the managing of blood sugars to the mix and how I wish I'd been updating you all on the journey this pregnancy has been already. Please forgive me for not writing as frequently as I'd like to and as would be helpful if you are experiencing this journey for the first time! Here's a New Year's resolution to try and blog more frequently!
All of this said, I've been so afraid this pregnancy which is one of the sad things that keeps me from writing. I'm afraid of something going wrong this pregnancy. This of course is marred by my sinfulness as I know in this world, because of my Christian worldview, that things do go wrong and this is the curse of sin...however I'm called not to sit around worrying about these possibilities but to live faithfully, trusting in the Lord's plan for me as part of His people. Sorry for all of the theological talk, but it's important for me to say that one of the reasons I haven't been writing is just down right fear and this is not the way I should live my life.
On a high note, things HAVE been going "normally" so far this pregnancy. I am 22.5 weeks along now and so thankful for the second trimester. I feel wonderful, truely wonderful for a pregnant lady. The first trimester was hard, as is to be expected and I'm sure the third trimester will bring on new struggles with fatigue, however for the time being, I'm SO happy to be in the second trimester! Here's a 20 week picture of my hubby and I on the cruise Beth mentioned, it was a much needed and wonderful time for the two of us!
I have a wonderful new doctor. After getting fired, I made lots of calls locally to find a doctor comfortable with natural births. Finally, my husband and I decided to go with the recommendation of the local midwifery practice and see their overseeing physician. He was booked up when I phoned them but had just welcomed a recent graduate of the local (well-known) OB residency program to the practice part time. I agreed to meet with her and feel like God sent me exactly who I needed.
She is the mother of a two year old, and I recently learned that she is pregnant as well! (one week behind me to be exact). I don't know that there could be a more compassionate and understanding OB. She listens, she learns, and she respects me. She is medically trained and more "traditional" than I'd like when it comes to birth, probably, however, she also knows her stuff.
Diabetes management seems to come like second nature to her and multitasking is no problem, which turns out to be quite nice from a physician when you consider the many things that one must accomplish at an office visit with a type one diabetic mother-to-be.
She just finished 4 years of training with the 5 maternal-fetal specialists who are in this area (the only practice for miles!!) and was all over my diabetes and the true lack of control I had at my first appointment with her. I mentioned months ago how I'd had to change endocrinologists due to my husband's insurance changing. There are only two practices in our area, sadly, and my new endo is NOT up to snuff for pregnancy and diabetes. OB was appalled at the recommendations endo was giving me, gave me her own goals (those that matched what I remembered from my previous pregnancies - fasting between 65-96, after meals below 140) and phoned my doc to encourage him to rememeber these goals for pregnant women since he was wanting to run my sugars much higher to avoid lows.
Well, that conversation was around 13 weeks of pregnancy. This week she and I finally decided it was time for a change, new endo guy is not going to get the job done and so she made calls to the maternal fetal OBs and they have agreed to see me and still allow her or the other OB in the current practice to deliver the baby! This is wonderful news since the reason my husband and I had avoided the maternal fetal specialty practice in town was because they require that you allow a resident to deliver the baby, not to mention the absurd size of the practice (30 docs or so in all)
I had my level 2 ultrasound around 18 weeks and baby looked well at this ultrasound. I will go next week for the fetal echocardiogram ultrasound and am prayerfully hopeful that this will be good news as well.
Baby is a MOVER, she has been very active since about 14 weeks although with her growing size that movement is starting to wake Mommy up in the middle of the night already :) Did I mention she looks like a girl. I have only had the 2 ultrasounds this pregnancy, which seems strange because with the last two babies it seemed the doctor looked everytime I was in the office. The first ultrasound was at 10 weeks, which I posted when the just wanted to confirm there was a baby there, and then the level 2 at 18 weeks baby had her legs crossed but "looked to be a girl".
My bloodsugars have been much better since going to new OB doctor. She sees me every two weeks which is a pain but good for accountability. My endo has also been seeing me every two weeks, but just because he has no idea what he is doing but seems to like the allusion that he does :) (maybe that was too harsh) I'm SO thankful that I have already cancelled my next appointment with him and am looking forward to working with someone new on managing my bloodsugars.
My A1C was 7.3 around the time of conception, I believe, but has consistantly dropped (endo checked it every 2 weeks...silly right) to 6.0 for the last 6 weeks. The dexcom has been amazing and I don't know how I had two babies without it now, I feel so spoiled! I lost the receiver on Christmas day and had a week long stretch without it and I thought my finger tips might fall off. I fingersick maybe 6-9 times a day with dex (he's not as reliable during the pregnancy I've found - before pregnancy it was 2-3 times/day) but when I didn't have dex that week I think I checked my sugars about 15-20 times a day!!! Simply because I didn't remember how to manage without all of the extra data. I'll have to ask Beth how many times she is checking her sugars during pregnancy, I remember it being around 12-15 times a day with my last two pregnancies.
I've started re-reading Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon and am so glad I'm rereading. It helps me remember what I'm fighting for and why its all worth it... there is a baby coming that I will be able to hold in my arms in a few short months and she deserves the best chances in life I can give her... my choices now affect her (and on that note, I think I'll skip the chocolate cake I was just craving!) :-P Not to mention, the help I need to start preparing for a third birth. Remembering and knowing the sensations I will feel are natural and intended for children to enter the world is helpful in the environment of avoid the "pains" of labor in which we all live.
And with all of this, I hope that this blog will continue to be a place of help and encouragement to women (and men) who live in the world of type one diabetes and childbearing! jenn