Friday, December 2, 2011

Running

During the first week of October, I made a resolution to get up early in the morning with my husband, at 5:30a, as a show of solidarity and maybe to squeeze in a run. After two days of the new schedule, I noticed my blood sugars were spiking at odd times, and way higher than I would expect. I assumed I was probably losing some weight on the new regimen, and I hoped that they would regulate once my weight stabilized.

By Sunday, I/we had fallen off the bandwagon big-time. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday involved zero running. But my blood sugars were still spiking at odd times. The spikes were happening right after breakfast, sometimes in the afternoon before dinner, and over night. I needed about 5 extra units to cover them.

On Sunday morning, I made note of the high blood sugars to my husband. "The only thing that makes this happen to me is pregnancy or weight loss." And then, refusing to consider the frightening alternative, "Maybe running is just bad for me..." After dinner, my husband stepped outside to say good-bye to some friends that came over. I decided to take a pregnancy test while he was outside.

Seriously, I have the worst timing ever.

Five minutes later, he came back in.

"The line is pretty faint. Are you sure?" "Yes."

We decided that I am probably only 5-6 weeks pregnant, based on our NFP charting, and came up with vague but truthful answers to awkward questions that I will no doubt face at my cousin's wedding in two weeks. ("Are you pregnant?" "Geez, I have been trying so hard to lose the weight!" And, if they ask, "No, seriously, are you pregnant?" "If I was and I wanted you to know, you would know.")

I am about 12 weeks along now, due in June. That means there will be about 20 months between these two, and if all goes well, I will have a barely-3-year-old, a 1-year-old, and a newborn. Lest you pass out on my behalf, please note that we have been living with my parents and they help with everything except carrying the unborn baby. I often feel like I am cheating on these early childhood years, because this would be a lot harder without them! And since there are not even 17 months between the first two, I have an inflated sense of personal heroism. Maybe it will help.

I always say my husband and I have never tried to have a baby. How it's possible to conceive three children without trying is something you may need your parents (or, if you live in our school district, your KINDERGARTEN TEACHER) to explain to you. So, although we have never actively tried to have a baby, we have gone through periods of not not trying. Those periods account for exactly three months of our marriage. Natural family planning does work. We used it to successfully delay childbearing for two full years. I am just always a little surprised at how well marital intimacy works for us. Having a baby is never a guarantee, even when you time it perfectly with ovulation, so I have to stay humble by reminding myself that fertility is a gift that God has always given to us very, very freely.

In all honesty, despite the "surprise" of it, I have never been more prepared to give everything I have for my baby, right from the beginning this time. I don't care if I need a c-section (though I hope not to have one) to do that (and that doesn't mean I trust my doctor to make the call without my input!). I wish I could rewind in time and give this gift, my whole self, to my first son, right from the moment of conception. I can't, but fortunately he has a spiritual mother, the Mother of God, who has been lavishing gifts and storing up treasures for him in heaven. I pray that he (and all of my children) will one day join her there, in perfect blessedness, where they will never lack any of the love they deserve.

3 comments:

  1. Congratulations! Your post made me laugh this morning! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Official Blog congratulations, Beth and family!! Super excited for you. I love what you said about being prepared to give everything you have for the baby... I can very much relate to that sentiment this time. Congratulations again! jenn

    ReplyDelete
  3. Must be something in the water. Congrats!!!

    ReplyDelete