Monday, July 11, 2011

The Stick

idea for this post came from Calah at her blog, Barefoot and Pregnant. She is hilarious, and you should read some of her other stuff. I identify with her because she is also a Catholic convert and stay-at-home mom and her husband is getting his PhD, too.

The Stick. The stick I'm talking about in this post is not the "finger stick" of blood sugar monitoring or blood hemoglobin levels, nor the "heel stick" that draws blood for your baby to be genetically tested for a variety of rare diseases. Nor is it the broken branches my 2-year-old picks up in our yard and wields yelling, "Sword! Sword!" No. The stick I mean is the one you pee on that has the potential to change your life forever.

I take a lot of pregnancy tests. I have a stash of them in my cabinet. I buy them at the dollar store, and keep at least 2 around at all times. I gave away a few at the beginning of my last pregnancy thinking I wouldn't need them for a while, but 18 months passes quickly and I wish I hadn't because I'm as neurotic as ever. The pinnacle of my paranoia was the time I walked to a drug store a mile and a half away from my office building on my lunch break during a very cold winter afternoon and took one in the public restroom at the office where I used to work (it was negative).

I'm extremely skilled at hiding the evidence, especially from a) my husband who thinks I'm crazy, b) my co-workers, who thought I was a religious nut after my aspiring-Presbyterian-pastor husband and I converted to Catholicism after a full 4 years at a Presbyterian seminary, and c) my parents, with whom we are currently living, because my dad has the habit of emptying the trash in our bathroom from time to time.

I think there are two reasons I am hyper-sensitive to the first news of pregnancy. One is because, as we all know, people who practice NFP are called parents (smile/gag). Lest you think it's NFP that doesn't work, I will tell you now that I've taken my fair share of chances during potentially fertile periods, so NFP should not be considered unreliable on the basis of my experience.

The second reason I take a lot of pregnancy tests is that I have diabetes. Early blood sugar control is important for a healthy baby, and I want to make sure that I am organizing my life around my new baby as soon as possible - waking up in the middle of the night to check my blood sugar, controlling dawn phenomenon and other random blood sugar spikes associated with early pregnancy, making sure I have all the extra insulin and pump supplies I'll need later on during pregnancy, figuring out how to work walks into my routine more regularly, and so on and so forth. As much as I try to practice these things when I'm not pregnant, there's nothing like knowing you have a tiny human growing inside you to kick your butt into extra-healthy mode.

Paranoia or responsible parenthood, I'm not sure, but I'm going to keep pregnancy tests handy.


  1. I think this is my favorite post ever. Ever. Love it, only because it makes me feel like less of a crazy person since I'm not the only one! how did i not know this! you ARE sneaky :)

  2. I definitely picked up that habit from you. I wanted to note that in the post, but I didn't want to be sharing someone else's family secrets. :)