Friday, May 7, 2010

Attitude Problem Part 2

Have you ever written something and then read it a few days later...ahem. I think I wasn't as clear in my last posting as I'd intended. I appologize for seeming to say that supporting one another when we have diabetes was worthless. It is not and that was not what I intended to say, although it sounds like that if you read the post.

What I wanted to say, is I feel like there is this general acceptance (although I think most do not realize it) that because of diabetes we are some how less capable of certain things (like birth, for instance.)

I do not hide my diabetes (when I said it was private). I wear my pump clipped to the outside of a pocket, and happily explain it to folks who inquire. I check my blood sugar in public, but I don't draw attention to myself when I do. All that is to say, I hold myself responsible for my diabetes. Not my husband, not my children, and not my parents. I'm 27 years old. It's my job to take care of myself for them and for me.

The POINT of that last post was that I felt like the subtle message I was getting when reading other posts was that a person with diabetes was less capable in mothering, or in birthing, or in whatever BECAUSE of the diabetes. Maybe that was not the intended message. But to someone like me, who looks for it, I felt like it was there.

You are NOT less cabable because of your diabetes. In anything. That's my opinion (again, not a doctor). I apply it mainly to birth because that is where I have experienced it most profoundly challenged in my own life.

Could you be less capable because of your diabetes? Absolutly. But, it is MY and your responsibility to take care of ouirselves so that we are capable. What's to stop us from doning anything like anyone else if we ARE in control of our sugars? If our A1C's are as "normal" as possible?

We feel the need to discuss big life decisions with our doctors. Can we have a baby doctor? What will mariage look like for us doctor? Can I go backpack Europe Doctor?

With baby # 1 I asked my doctor if I could give birth naturally (he functioned on the paradigm that women with diabetes could not birth naturally). With baby # 2 I told him I was birthing naturally, and changed forever the way he has to look at a women like us when we say we're birthing from now on.

I take care of myself. I don't ask my doctor if I can have babies. I tell my doctor, I'm pregnant!!! It's wonderful, no stress in getting pregnant. (am I being irresponsible? I don't think so, because my A1C is always at or less than 7.) Todd, dear husband, has never met my endo...he doesn't need to. I take care of myself for him, for me.

I don't want you to feel guilty! I want you to feel INSPIRED. Take care of yourself and do What YOU want to DO!

That's what I'd intended to say in that last post. Sorry I did seem to have an attitude ;) love, j

6 comments:

  1. Since you linked to several of my posts during the course of your post here, it seemed like an invitation to drop in and say hello. :)

    Diabetes did play a role in the birth of my daughter, but I am no less a mother because I didn't have her naturally. Healthy happy mom, healthy happy baby is what counts, right?

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  2. Oh, and one other thing - I didn't ask my doctor for permission to have a baby, but more for guidance on what would be best. Pre-pregnancy planning, for me, was as much a learning experience as pregnancy itself. I appreciated all the information I could get!

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  3. Thanks Kerri, Sorry I missed your comment earlier. (Apparently I don't have the blog set to moderate comments.) :)

    I completely agree with you that a healthy baby is the goal! And am grateful for how you inspire many diabetics, myself included!

    I think doctors (and women like us) fail to see our full potential. I think natural birth is best at the end of the day. I think most specialists think it's a terrible idea for us, though.

    Information is great, as well. In our experience, we didn't get the full picture on pregnancy #1 when we relied on the physician alone for our information.

    thanks for the comments!

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  4. and one other thing: I think I got really lucky. I could have just as easily had a complication with pregnancy as a diabetic that caused me to need a c-section. I just want doctors and women to know it's possible, and maybe even a good thing for us to have babies like everyone else when things work out that way for us. :)

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  5. Docs, and patients themselves, don't always see their full potential - I'll agree on that.

    But as a woman with type 1 diabetes who had a c-section, it's important for me to point out that my c-section wasn't something I could have avoided without potentially causing issues with my eyes. I was advised to have a c-section based on the location of the retinopathy in my left eye. It is just too close to the macula for comfort, which is why I decided, under the advisement of my medical team, to have a c-section and preserve my eye, versus pushing with an attempted vaginal delivery and potentially doing harm to my vision.

    It's important to remember that not everyone has a clear "choice" when it comes to the method by which their child arrives. And for those of us who had more than one medical situation in play, sometimes a surgical delivery serves to protect against other issues.

    I saw my full potential - and decided that I wanted both a healthy baby, a safe delivery, and my eyes intact. :)

    But regardless how the baby arrives, a healthy mom and a healthy baby - as I said before - are what count most.

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  6. I was not a healthy mom after my first delivery, I was a mess. :) I wanted to be healthier for my family on round two and knew what I needed. (maybe there's another woman like me out there - maybe my niche blog is a waste of time?)

    I dare not judge another woman's decision for her and her child. Just as I hope one would not subject me to that either. and, I try to write so that I do not sound judgmental on birth choices, but rather, informative that there's another way for us. I am sorry if I have failed in being non-judgmental.

    And I continue to agree with you, things do not always go "well" for diabetics in pregnancy. In which case, you're right, it is important to weigh all factors for a birth plan.

    I'm still learning about how to communicate these thoughts in blog land and have a way to go.. this dialogue has taught me much - thank you!

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