Monday, May 24, 2010

Standing Alone

I'm thinking that there's not much more for me to say on the subject of diabetes and natural birth. I recognize this is a rather niche blog, but hopefully, for those interested, is worth the google search. I'm sure things will come to mind that might be worth adding over the months to come. And certainly, were my husband and I to be blessed with another pregnancy, that could be worth sharing in real-time rather than through my cloudy memory. But, for now...I think the blog can stand alone for awhile.

I hope our stories of having two diabetic pregnancies and diabetic births will be helpful to you. jenn

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's a happy day

The sun is mingled with clouds today and life feels good. I woke up at 4:30 this morning to a blood sugar of 458.

My son has been sick for 3 days, my daughter got the same fever yesterday and is now sick too. Dear husband hasn't been home for dinner or in the evening for 7 days. I was exhausted when I went to bed last night and forgot to "un"-suspend my pump. And then I woke up and felt like I'd been hit by a bus and the wind was knocked out of me at 4am.

Kids make it harder to control my diabetes. I forget to take care of myself sometimes because I'm always taking care of everyone else. Are they worth it...100%. Have I got a lot to figure out over the coming years as their schedules get even busier? Yep. Is it a beautiful day...absolutely. :) Diabetes stinks sometimes. But, then again, it's part of me.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Attitude Problem Part 2

Have you ever written something and then read it a few days later...ahem. I think I wasn't as clear in my last posting as I'd intended. I appologize for seeming to say that supporting one another when we have diabetes was worthless. It is not and that was not what I intended to say, although it sounds like that if you read the post.

What I wanted to say, is I feel like there is this general acceptance (although I think most do not realize it) that because of diabetes we are some how less capable of certain things (like birth, for instance.)

I do not hide my diabetes (when I said it was private). I wear my pump clipped to the outside of a pocket, and happily explain it to folks who inquire. I check my blood sugar in public, but I don't draw attention to myself when I do. All that is to say, I hold myself responsible for my diabetes. Not my husband, not my children, and not my parents. I'm 27 years old. It's my job to take care of myself for them and for me.

The POINT of that last post was that I felt like the subtle message I was getting when reading other posts was that a person with diabetes was less capable in mothering, or in birthing, or in whatever BECAUSE of the diabetes. Maybe that was not the intended message. But to someone like me, who looks for it, I felt like it was there.

You are NOT less cabable because of your diabetes. In anything. That's my opinion (again, not a doctor). I apply it mainly to birth because that is where I have experienced it most profoundly challenged in my own life.

Could you be less capable because of your diabetes? Absolutly. But, it is MY and your responsibility to take care of ouirselves so that we are capable. What's to stop us from doning anything like anyone else if we ARE in control of our sugars? If our A1C's are as "normal" as possible?

We feel the need to discuss big life decisions with our doctors. Can we have a baby doctor? What will mariage look like for us doctor? Can I go backpack Europe Doctor?

With baby # 1 I asked my doctor if I could give birth naturally (he functioned on the paradigm that women with diabetes could not birth naturally). With baby # 2 I told him I was birthing naturally, and changed forever the way he has to look at a women like us when we say we're birthing from now on.

I take care of myself. I don't ask my doctor if I can have babies. I tell my doctor, I'm pregnant!!! It's wonderful, no stress in getting pregnant. (am I being irresponsible? I don't think so, because my A1C is always at or less than 7.) Todd, dear husband, has never met my endo...he doesn't need to. I take care of myself for him, for me.

I don't want you to feel guilty! I want you to feel INSPIRED. Take care of yourself and do What YOU want to DO!

That's what I'd intended to say in that last post. Sorry I did seem to have an attitude ;) love, j

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Attitude Problem?

I was reading a few fellow diabetes blogs this morning and realized something... I think I have a starkly different attitude about my diabetes than the rest of the blogging community? What's that say about me? Was my first thought...and then, huh, oh well was my second.

I hope and pray this will not ruin my credibility with you all as far as my whole push for birthing is concerned. But, maybe it's an important piece of the puzzle.

I have diabetes, so what? That's pretty much my modus operandi. I don't care that I have diabetes. I haven't ever cared. I got it, I take care of it, I moved on. Is that weird?

I HATED support groups as a kid. My mom insisted that I go a few times and I was like, this sucks...
these people are all mopey...I'm not mopey, I'm fine. Why do I have to go listen to their crap mom?

Maybe I have an attitude problem? I don't consider myself to be any different from any other human because of my diabetes, and you better not either...that's my paradigm and I'm sticking to it.

My kids don't know I have diabetes, Jack says "where's my diabetes" (stuff) all of the time, but he has NO clue what that means, he just says it because I do. No one has ever had to take care of me because of my diabetes. I can do it myself thank you very much. (I haven't experienced a situation in which I could not care for myself to this point, and pray I do not ever but I don't let myself get that far out of control maybe?) My diabetes doesn't affect my sweet husband, and it certainly is NOT part of the intimate times in our relationship, it is removed from the scene. Not because he minds the pump, but because I do! (site stays). Diabetes gadgets are ok, not great in my book. And not a must by any stretch of my imagination. I had two healthy babies before CGMs were around. The pump was great for pregnancy, but I think at this point in the game, pumps are old news.

And on that note, the first time I EVER wore a pump for more than 2 weeks straight was with pregnancy #1...before that I was on the pump, and off the pump as I pleased for 5 years (and never wore it in the summer as a teenager.) You're betting I had terrible control right? Nope, never above 7.2 A1C.

All that is to say... I've read over and over on blogs that "diabetes is my life"... I'm sorry. Diabetes is not my life. I have an awesome life. I check my blood sugar and wear a pump, but I look at it like going pee...a private, but necessary part of my life. :) and now maybe the rest of this blog makes more sense! jenn.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Children's/Infant's OTC recall

Chances are if you're reading this blog, you have children or will soon be having children. And in the interest in keeping them all's a link to the McNeil website detailing the recent recall of 40 different children's' and infants' OTC medicines.

Of course...I had a bottle each of the infant and children's Motrin, Tylenol, and Benedryl. ;) Now I remember why I avoid the stuff altogether myself! Maybe it's time to put that into practice with the kiddos... Hope this info helps. They say that the recall is not related to adverse affects, but to quality assurance issues with the formulations of the medications.